Colorado mother gives newborn amazing creative name

BOULDER, CO- In a stroke of linguistic brilliance, Boulder mother Tracy Potts decided to name her newborn son Kaieydein, making her the harbinger of the future of American culture.

"At first I thought it was just, Caden, and I was about to write it down, you know, C-A-D-E-N, but then I remembered I'm supposed to ask the mother how she wanted to spell it. So I did," said Jackie Phellps, the attending nurse at Potts' delivery.

Apparently, Potts had other plans. "Well, I don't really remember what really happened to be honest, all that morphine and nitrous. All I do remember is not being sure which way I wanted to spell it. 'Cause there's like C-A-D-E-N, or K-A-I-D-E-N, or K-A-Y-D-E-N, just so many ways."

For privacy purposes, Kaiedein was not photographed.

In her opiate-induced stupor, Potts stumbled across the greatest breakthrough in nomenclature since the mid to late-1800s when people began thinking outside the box and stopped naming their kids the same thing for a few dozen generations before moving on to a different Biblical figure. "Things like this just don't happen every day. As a linguist with a Ph. D. in American nomenclature, you can only dream that something like this can happen within your lifetime.

"This will definitely be a boon for the linguistics department. Nothing has spiked interest in baby names like this since the 80's when women decided all the sudden they wanted to name their baby girls something as androgynous as possible, like Bobby." said Dr. Thomas Miller, head of the University of Pennsylvania Linguistics department. Dr. Miller also stated he is planning on making this a last-minute addition to his upcoming linguistics and naming text, Spelling is for Dweebs- The American Way of Doing Stuff Like Naming Your Kids and Cheating in Scrabble.

Yet not every sociocultural advancement is without its detractors. "That's just dumb," said 22 year-old college junior Trent Blackfoot. "He'll probably just end up getting made fun of his whole life."

"What is important to understand about children who get made fun of, is nine out of ten times, it is out of jealousy," says Psychiatrist George Livingston. "It will certainly be hard growing up around children whose lack of parental genius is made obvious by the conventional spellings of their names, but eventually the children will learn to appreciate and accept Kaieydein as the product of unbridled brilliance without seeing him as a threat."

Potts says she has big plans for Kaieydein, like somehow explaining why his name fails to follow the most basic rules of spelling, but for now she says she's just going to focus on loving him for who he is. "I can't really remember how his name is spelled, but it's written on his wrist band. But I guess I love him anyway or something" •



Tyler McCord is the Editor-in-Chief of A Creatively Titled Blog.